Meet Grandpappy Mason.
John Landis Mason was a tinsmith who lived in the late 1800’s, and he was the inventor of the mason jar. His invention marked the roots of one of the most prominent aspects of modern hipster culture.
Today, mason jars are utilized by hipsters everywhere for things such as holding their green smoothies and black coffee; for storing premade 100% GMO-free organic salads; for dispensing soap, salt, bird food, or just about anything else that will fit in there; for repurposing as light fixtures such as mason jar chandeliers and candleholders. The hipsters know it, you know it, we all know it: mason jars make everything infinitely more ‘cool’ and ‘rustic’ and ‘vintage’ and ‘authentic’ and all manner of other words that hipsters are known to search up when looking for inspiration to perfect their ‘aesthetic’.
Oh my, the mason jar. Has there ever been anything else so versatile, unique, and obnoxiously, screamingly hipster?
Now, let’s get back to Grandpappy Mason, shall we? Let’s see that nice photo of him again.
Now, doesn’t he just look like a ray of sunshine? With his cleverly trimmed little hipster beard and tidy waistcoat with the buttons? Doesn’t he look like the guy who invented the most iconic hipster symbol of all time and knows how much of a smash hit his existence is?
Oh wait, what’s that? No, you say? He looks sad? Almost as if he had invented the mason jar, only to be cheated out of his genius because of a patent mistake that allowed his competitors to produce better version of his idea? Well, if you said that, my friend, then you sure have the uncanny ability of premonition (or the totally canny ability to find stuff on Wikipedia). That’s right, Grandpappy Mason, the great forefather of all vintage-camera-toters and obscure-vinyl-enthusiasts, died penniless in a tenement house in New York.
How fundamentally, profoundly sacrilegious! What horrendous wrong has been done to Grandpappy Mason! What spiteful, fallacious, erroneous transgression!
Ok, ok, you may be saying, so the inventor of the mason jar died unrecognized and unrewarded for his fantabulous ingenuity. So what? Why is this relevant?
And our answer to that, folks, is justice. Because we here at the Bearded Hipster do swear to highly uphold the honourable triumvirate of virtues, which consist precisely of: (1) justice, (2) passion, and (3) giving credit where credit is due. Such a culturally influential product as the mason jar shall surely be recorded in the history books for generations after us to learn about. And we Bearded Hipsters hereby pledge to do our best to make sure that Grandpappy Mason goes down in the books too.
We may not have been the ones to invent the mason jar. (Check.)
Hell, we may not even be the ones to make the best remodelling of it. (Check again.)
But we at the Bearded Hipster are, proudly and without a doubt, the ones with the fire in our bellies. We will make our message clear! Grandpappy John Landis Mason has not and will not be forgotten! Through our daring innovation and fearless brainstorming, we have created a product that embodies both the less-is-more, minimalist hipster movement of today, and the fiery passion and fierce protection that we as a team feel for Grandpappy Mason and all he stands for.
(And that’s a checkmate.)
Watch out world, for a reckoning is coming. And it goes by the name of the Bearded Hipsters!
It’s week 5 or 6ish of Junior Achievement Company Program, and our company, previously named drink. has just decided to do a complete rebranding. No longer are we selling ourselves as a drinking utensil company; now, we are marketing multifunctional, versatile, do-whatever-the-heck-you-want-with-them mason jars. One of the biggest decisions we have yet to make is what we’re going to be calling ourselves from now on.
The Bearded Hipsters? Almost. So close. If only.
I wrote this little blurb to sell the name of ‘The Bearded Hipsters’ as a joke, for humorous purposes. It was a delight to write, but boy, am I glad we decided to not call ourselves that. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed concocting it, and you should maybe check out our actual company description on our official website: glassworksyyc.tk!
Lastly, if you’re going to be in the Calgary area on Saturday, Feb 11, you should come to Cross Iron Mills and check out the Junior Achievement Fair! The Bearded Hips- uh, I mean Glassworks, will certainly be there in our show booth, plus there’ll be plenty of other cool student-led companies there as well!
As always, thank you so much for reading!