Happy birthday, CTHARSIS!
Today marks the one year anniversary of ctharsis.wordpress.com, a domain that may be humble and small, but is still a home to me. Happy birthday, blog! Wow!
Can you believe it’s been one year? One year full of changing and growing and learning, remembering and thinking and writing. That sure was flippin’ fast. Over the course of this year, I’ve written and published 42 blog posts, hit over 1400 views, and had over 800 visitors from 13 different countries around the world. It’s absurd to me that those numbers should even be inexistence. What do you mean, people took time out of their day to read stuff that I wrote? You’re kidding, right? I’m dreaming, right?
Gosh. Wow. Thank you.
One year ago, I was deathly afraid of the future; I was staring into the face of high school and all that lay beyond it, and not seeing much to look forwards to. Since then, a lot has changed- and yet very little has changed. I’m still afraid of the future, but I’m (hopefully) more well-equipped to deal with it. I’m still working on the same old flaws and goals that I’ve always been working on. I’m still entering new chapters in my life and turning the page on old ones. I’m still delusional, irrational, oblivious, obnoxious, bad at texting people back, a procrastinator, slightly (very) crazy, flighty, inconsistent, insecure, anxious, embarrassing, and all manner of other less-than-savoury attributes. And I’m still learning. Still changing. The good news is that, through all this stumbling and mistake-making, I’m getting closer to the person I want to be.
Over the course of this year, I’ve learned a lot of important things about writing, and life in general (or so I like to think, being the totally worldly and wise fifteen-year-old that I am). Through writing on this blog, I know now that there are people willing to listen if I am willing to speak. I’ve learned that the best sort of conversation and writing are rooted in honesty and the baring of your own fears. I’ve recognized that when it comes to friends and social activity, quality always trumps quantity, and that real connections are often formed with people you’d never expect them to be formed with. I’ve also come to realize that there are a lot of things in the world inherently pitted against me, but that I can always depend the few constants in my life to be the lighthouse in the dark: writing, friendship, family, and gratitude.
Speaking of Gratitude
One year ago, this blog gave me a blank page to put those words out on. But without people to read them, that’s all this would be: some pages with some words. Random blatherings of yet another utterly ordinary kid (maybe that’s still what it is, and all it will ever be, but screw it, I’m not going to stop). Fortunately for me, by some stroke of luck, people did tune in occasionally to read what I wrote, and it was- and still is- the most rewarding thing ever.
So thank you, thank you, thank you, from the very bottom-most depths of my heart. Thank you to anyone who’s ever visited my blog, who’s read any of my posts, who’s somehow miraculously found my voice likeable enough to favourite or even subscribe to. Thank you for each and every favourite and comment; I’m not sure that I can completely explain how happy I get when I see them pop up in my inbox. You’ll just have to trust me when I say there’s no better feeling. Thank you so much (so much, how do I even express this in words?) to the people who encouraged me to start this blog and saw it grow from a half-conceived idea sprung into my head one Monday night when I was supposed to be playing flute, into what it is now (which, albeit, still isn’t of a very impressive girth, but is infinitely more significant than the nothingness it was before!). Finally, thank you to anyone who’s ever spoken to me about my blog, in real life or online, and to anyone who’s spared so much as a single train of thought to it, in any situation at any point in time. Y’all give me faith that I might just be doing something with my life other than wasting it.
Here’s to my baby blog, and to hopes that it might live to see toddlerhood and maybe eventually teenagehood. I can’t wait to keep writing, and I hope y’all stick around for more good times to come!
As always, thank you so much for reading!
(P.S. In case you didn’t hear it all those other times, thank you. Really, truly, honestly.)